Being an ally is not a medal that you wear once and that’s it. It is a constant practice, an attitude of support and active listening towards people from the LGTBIQ+ community. And yes, sometimes you are going to make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn, rectify and continue walking together.
In this article we will explore how to be a real ally, not just lip service. Let’s speak bluntly, with our feet on the ground and our hearts in the cause. Because supporting diversity should not be a fashion, but a way of being in the world.
What does it mean to be an ally?
An ally is a person who, without being part of the LGTBIQ+ group, positions themselves in its favor. As? Educating yourself, pointing out discrimination, creating safe spaces and, above all, listening. It’s not about talking over, but about using your privilege to amplify voices, not cover them up.
Being an ally is more than hanging the flag on the balcony during Pride month. It’s asking yourself: what do I do in my daily life so that LGTBIQ+ people live better, freer and safer?
Tips for being a true ally
Here are some ideas to start or strengthen your path as an ally. It is not a closed or perfect list, but it can help you not stay superficial.
1. Listen more than you talk
You don’t need to have all the answers. In fact, it’s better that you don’t have them. Listening to real experiences with humility is one of the most powerful tools. Ask if you don’t know something, but don’t expect to be educated for free. There are a thousand resources available, use them.
2. Take care of your language
Words matter. Using correct names and pronouns, avoiding offensive comments or inappropriate jokes, and practicing inclusive language are gestures that make a difference. And if you screw up, ask for forgiveness. No excuses.
3. Point out discrimination (even if it bothers you)
If someone makes a homophobic, transphobic or sexist comment in your environment, don’t look away. Your silence is also a message. And yes, sometimes it is difficult, but silence hurts more when it is received by those who experience that violence every day.
4. Support with concrete actions
Follow LGTBIQ+ content creators, buy from the group’s businesses, donate to associations that fight for human rights, go to demonstrations. Not everything is giving “likes”. Sometimes, what is needed is real presence.
5. Check your own prejudices
Even with the best of intentions, you may have ideas or attitudes that perpetuate discrimination. Don’t beat yourself up about it, but don’t ignore it either. Unlearning takes time, and no one is born knowing.
Not everything is black or white
Although the figure of the ally is fundamental, there are also critical voices within the group. What happens when a cishetero person positions themselves as an ally only out of personal interest? Or when allies are given more visibility than the group itself? Sometimes, the spotlight shifts, and that must also be questioned. Whose voice are we really amplifying? Does supporting mean speaking for, or speaking with?
Frequent questions you may have (and that are okay to have)
- What if I make a mistake using a pronoun? Correct and continue. The important thing is the intention and effort to improve.
- Can I use the term “queer” even if I am not? It depends on the context. Listen to what those who identify as such say. Not everything always goes.
- Does being an ally mean agreeing with everything any LGTBIQ+ person says? No. Being an ally does not force you to agree on everything, but it does force you to respect and not invalidate other people’s experiences.
What if the world was more of an ally?
Imagine schools where a child is not made fun of for how he dresses. Offices where there is no need to hide who you share your life with. Streets where kissing your partner doesn’t involve looking back just in case. Being an ally does not change the world at once, but it does help build that future.
And if you ever hesitate about what to do or say, remember: your role is not to shine, but to sustain. You don’t need to be the star, but the accompanying hand.
A commitment that never ends
The royal alliance has no expiration date. It is not a “phase”, nor a “fashionable topic”. Being an ally involves commitment, empathy and, sometimes, discomfort. But it also implies hope. Because a more just world is not a utopia, it is a goal that is built with small, daily and collective actions.
You may not always know where to start, but if you’re reading this, you’re already taking the first step. The rest… is walking together.
