The role of the ally in queer activism
Being an ally is not about wearing a t-shirt with the flag and uploading a selfie on June 28. Nor is it shouting more than the rest in a demonstration that does not talk about you. Being an ally is a commitment, not a disguise.
If you are part of the cishetero environment but feel that you want to be on the right side of history, your intention is welcome. Now, how to do it without falling into appropriation? How to accompany without taking up space? How to support without turning support into protagonism?
What does it mean to be an ally?
Being an ally of the LGTBIQ+ community is, in essence, using your privileges to protect, make visible and amplify without overshadowing. It means positioning yourself when it’s time, learning when you don’t know, and keeping quiet when the center doesn’t belong to you.
The idea is not to become a savior, but a conscious accomplice. May your presence be noticed more by your actions than by your volume. Let it not be about you, even if you are there. It is something that sounds easy, but is difficult when the ego wants to join the party.
Signs of a good ally
Here is a small list of signs that distinguish allies who do matter. It is not a closed list, nor infallible. But it can help guide you if you have questions.
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You listen more than you talk. You do not seek to teach the community about its own reality.
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You educate yourself without demanding to be educated. You read, you investigate, you ask with respect.
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You position yourself even when there is no LGTBIQ+ in front. Not only when it is “safe.”
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You don’t make jokes at the expense of the collective. Not even “for trust.”
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You review your own behaviors. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
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You recognize that you are not the center of the movement. Even if your ego hurts.
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You give up space when it’s not your turn. Even if you have more followers, more voice or more privileges.
What being an ally is not
Sometimes support is confused with spectacle. Here are some things that are not being an ally, even though they sometimes seem like it:
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Upload a photo with a rainbow filter once a year and disappear the rest of the time.
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Correct LGTBIQ+ people about their experiences.
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Making queer visibility a “fashionable topic” without real implication.
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Use inclusive language only on networks, but not in your daily life.
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Invite a person from the group to your project just to “meet the quota.”
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Shout “I’m diverse too!” when you are not part of the collective.
The key is not to use activism as an accessory. We are not a complement to your progressive discourse.
Why is there so much talk about this now?
Because the world is changing, but not always moving forward. As we gain visibility, hate speech, repressive laws, and setbacks also grow. In this context, the figure of the ally takes on vital value.
It is no longer enough to not be homophobic or transphobic. You have to be actively anti-discrimination. Because silence is a form of violence. And because collective rights are not a fashion, they are a necessity.
Support from your place
You don’t need to be an influencer, activist or expert to make a difference. Sometimes, the most valuable gestures are the everyday ones:
- Correctly name a trans person in your environment.
- Stand up for a fellow queer when they can’t do it for themselves.
- Correct your group of friends when they make inappropriate comments.
- Make visible content created by people in the group without appropriating it.
- Ask out of affection, not out of morbid curiosity.
- Put your body in the demonstrations, not just the hashtags.
- Every action adds up, and every honest gesture leaves a mark.
What if I’m wrong?
You’re going to be wrong. Sure. We all do it. The important thing is how you react when someone points it out to you. Do you get defensive? Do you victimize yourself? Or do you listen to it and integrate it?
Being an ally is a process, not a fixed title. It is a practice that is refined, reviewed and improved. And if you really care, you will know that it is not about doing it perfect, but about doing it with humility.
A critical reflection (yes, it is also necessary)
Now, it is not fair to turn allies into automatic heroes either. Sometimes, recognition is distributed unequally. There are projects created by cishetero people on behalf of the collective that receive more attention and resources than initiatives led from within.
Is queer activism depending too much on alliances? Are we unintentionally reinforcing power structures that already exclude us?
It is not about distrusting all external help, but it is about remembering that the centrality of the movement must remain in the hands of those who live it firsthand.
In summary: how to support without appropriating
We could summarize all this in a small formula that does not fail:
Presence + respect + humility + commitment = an ally that matters.
And if you still have doubts, you can ask yourself this:
“Am I helping this person, this space, this movement, shine brighter… or am I taking advantage of their light to illuminate myself?”
