A personal, political act… and, if that were not enough, it is also Javier Kiniro’s birthday!
There are dates that are marked on the calendar for their symbolic force. October 11, known internationally as Coming Out Day, is one of them. And in Rainbow we live it with double intensity: on the one hand, we celebrate the bravery of so many people who dare to show themselves as they are; On the other hand, we blow out candles because, yes, it is also the birthday of our beloved editorial director, Javier Kiniro. Two reasons to celebrate! 🎉
What is Coming Out Day?
TheComing Out Day was born in 1988 in the United States, as an initiative of queer activism after the second National March for Gay and Lesbian Rights in Washington. The idea was simple, but powerful: make visible that “coming out” is a political act. Because the more openly LGTBIQ+ people there are, the more difficult it is to ignore, erase or discriminate against us.
Since then, October 11 has expanded internationally as a day to celebrate visibility, reflect on personal and collective experience, and remember that not everyone can or wants to come out. And that’s fine too.
What does “coming out” mean?
The expression has become so common that we sometimes forget what it really implies. “Coming out” is not just saying “I am gay”, “I am lesbian”, “I am bi”, “I am trans”, “I am non-binary”… It is also stop hiding, allowing yourself to exist fully, without fear or shame. And that can be liberating… but also terrifying.
Because coming out is not a moment, it is a process. Sometimes constant. At work, with family, with friends, on social networks, at the doctor’s office, with the landlord. And in each context, the experience can be radically different.
There is no single way to exit (nor a single reason to exit)
There is no manual or checklist for coming out. It is not mandatory, it is not linear and it is certainly not a sprint. Some people do it at 13, some at 40, some never do it publicly. And they all deserve respect.
Here are some realities that should be remembered:
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There are those who come out only to their inner circle, and that is already a giant step.
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There are those who feel that “they have no closet” and have always lived naturally.
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There are people who are forced to leave without wanting to.
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There are those who come and come out of the closet several times throughout their life.
Each story is unique, valid and necessary.
Why is this day still important?
Because the pressure to hide is still very present. Because there are still teenagers who do not dare to tell who they are for fear of rejection. Because in many countries coming out can cost you your job, your security or even your life. Because there are still environments—yes, even in Spain—where the safest thing is to remain silent.
Coming Out Day is not about exposing everyone, but about creating a culture of support, empathy and visibility. An environment where coming out is an option, not a sentence.
What if I don’t want to come out?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Coming out is not a moral obligationnor a requirement to be part of the group. There are people who cannot do it, who do not want to or who simply do not feel it is necessary. And your identity is no less worth it for that.
It is also important to ask ourselves: who can come out of the closet without consequences? What privileges make it possible? Not everyone has the same starting point. That is why it is key to accompany without demanding, to listen without pressuring.
A critical point to reflect on
Some voices point out that focusing so much of the discourse on “coming out” can be counterproductive. That puts the burden on individuals, when the real problem is homophobia, transphobia and the social pressure that pushes us to hide. What if we didn’t have to leave anywhere because they had never put us inside?
Perhaps the ultimate goal is not to “come out of the closet”, but rather that there are no closets to go through.
Ideas to accompany someone who wants to come out of the closet
If someone close to you shares something as intimate as their orientation or gender identity, remember:
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Listen without interrupting or trying to solve anything.
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Do not tell anyone else without their permission.
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Validate their experience, even if you don’t fully understand it.
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Avoid phrases like “I already knew it” or “it’s okay,” even if you say it with good intentions.
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Ask what they need, rather than assuming it.
Coming out is an act of trust. Take care of it.
The closet is not just a metaphor
We should also talk about how closets affect emotional and mental well-being. Sustained concealment can generate anxiety, low self-esteem, a feeling of disconnection and a lot of loneliness. And that is not always seen from the outside.
That is why it is important to build environments where there is no need to hide. Where work, school, family or public spaces are safe places. Because a world without closets is a freer world for everyone.
And yes… it is also Javier Kiniro’s birthday
Here at Rainbow, October 11th has an extra shine. Not only because of the importance of Coming Out Day, but because it is the day on which Javier Kiniro, our editorial director, creative soul and beacon of style, was born (although he blushes if we say it like that).
Coincidence? Queer destiny? Are the stars aligned with diversity? We don’t know. But what we do know is that few people represent so well what it means to live out of the closet with pride, elegance and heart. So: happy birthday, Javier! 🎂🏳️🌈
